For the past couple of weeks I have been faithfully praying for the sun to shine. I have just felt that the weather reflects my life…and in the midst of the darkness and trials I yearned to see the sun come out.
I would jokingly say that there was a righteous person who was praying for snow and coldness…and somehow their prayers were surpassing mine. Now, I don’t really believe that…But there is a bit of truth to every joke!
The concept of light vs. darkness has been one that has always grabbed a hold of my attention. 1 John 1:5 says “God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all” Wow!
During hard times I cling to the Lord, and during those same times, I yearn to see the light. And lately I have yearned to see the sun shine.
I have finally come to the place in my life where I am okay with the changes. I have let go, and have no expectation of getting things returned. I cannot begin to express how much freedom comes with that! I have learned that I do not need to fight for myself, because Christ will! That promise has been one that I have been keeping close to my heart.
You know when we humble ourselves the Lord really does lift us up! Yesterday night I received an apology from someone who had a misconception of me ( they haven’t been the first :-)…and I forgave them with an open heart, people make mistakes! But what fascinates me most is the fact that I didn’t fight for myself or address the gossip that has caused so much damage. Rather then trying to fix things (I am a fixer) I remained still and silent, prayed a lot, trusted God…and ultimately gave Him an opportunity to grow my faith as He fought for me, just as He promised He would!
I have heard a wise man talk about great leaders, and all the trials they had to endure to get there. So it got me thinking, maybe God has been preparing me for something too… I in no way consider myself one of these “Great ones”. But, if a glimpse of my life brings glory to God then that is all I ask for. I take comfort in knowing that the “great ones” probably did not consider themselves as such! They likely looked back on “great ones” before them and said the same thing I am saying now. I don’t think anyone listed in Hebrews 11 who is commended for their faith would have ever dreamed the Lord would have written that legacy for them. I look back on those men and see their failings, but the Lord records their faith and what righteousness they had as their legacy for the generations to read. He is SO GOOD and He really does look at the heart, not the outer appearance that man sees.
I know that Life will not be getting easier (though we’ll have seasons of quiet among the seasons of trials) because we will not be finished being sanctified until we see Him face to face! But, He is good and there is rest. I still feel out of place in many ways and misunderstood by most people. For me this is the biggest reminder that this isn’t home! Nevertheless, I have been given a privilege to fellowship with Christ in His sufferings and that I can know Him more through them. Even if my small, private sufferings do not sound like much to others… they are important to me and the Lord sees them as such. It’s in ANY suffering, big or small.. seen or unseen that He can show Himself strong. If I can suffer well in the little things only He sees, that’s still significant to Him.
The Lord truly is my best friend, and I am amazed at what He does….But beyond that I am in Awe of who He is! This morning when I woke up, I indeed did receive an answered prayer…the Sun Shined!